How many people you know in your life that use the sentence “that’s life” on a daily or weekly basis and carry on struggling. You might even recognize yourself in this. It might not shock you to know that I was one of those people until a day when life got so difficult that I couldn’t go on living the way I was. During the day I was in constant anxiety and even at night I couldn’t escape as I was afraid to sleep and was waking up in terror. I was barely able to function at work and was doing weird Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) behaviors to make myself feel better and gain some sort relief and feeling of safety. I used to hold my breath as a way of controlling my thoughts. I didn’t understand why I was having those dark thoughts, I didn’t feel that I had done that many sins in my life. Having a religious (orthodox) upbringing didn’t help either, as one of the first things you learn subconsciously is to self-punish, deny yourself joy and to “repent or you shall die”. The definition of God I had was completely distorted and His mention brought up fear and guilt in me.
I went to church in London, but it didn’t help and even considered joining the convent as I couldn’t live in the mental, emotional and physical pain I was in. Please understand I have nothing against any church and believe it has a role to play, but it took me so much courage to tell the priest what was happening to me and I was not listened to, he just moved on the conversation. I couldn’t go back to Romania (unless I was going to go to a convent) as my life was here and was scared I couldn’t get the help I needed in a western country.
My sister introduced me to a Reiki Practitioner when I went to Romania in holiday and instantly I thought, this is it, this can help me. I did Reiki 1 and 2 in Romania but knew I needed to train more to help me get out of the whole I was in. So, I found Acorn to Oak, The International School of Energy Medicine. The first retreat I did with them was “Break for Freedom”, a 4 day weekend and man, did I break for freedom. I came out of that weekend a new me, a more real me, with true understanding of what is happening to me. During that weekend again I built up the courage to say what was going on for me, what was going though my mind and I was listened to. Pennie, from Acorn to Oak, listened and gave me help and guidance during that conversation, but also during the Breath Work sessions. During that weekend I had four Breath4lifeTM Breath Work sessions that helped me get into the light and be able to sustain it, to allow the joy flow though me and not wonder “how long will this good thing last”.
Breath4lifeTM Breath Work help me change my life and gradually turned it from desperate, terror mode to then thrive mode. I got to the point when life was good again but continued training with Acorn to Oak to become a Breath4lifeTM Breath Work practitioner because why would I stop? I found something that is the truth, not only sticks Gaffa tape over a bullet whole, but actually uses a scientific method to transform the gross, low vibrational energies and emotions into light, peace and joy.
Breath Work showed me who truly God/ the Divine is: only unconditional love. Due to our karma and past actions, we don’t always feel that unconditional love and start making up stories around Him/Her. We don’t understand that bad past actions is like putting mud on yourself including your eyes, ears, mouths etc you then start wondering in the world hitting your head on different lamp posts and wonder why those lamp posts are there. When we put mud on ourselves we shut off and only feel the mud, we can’t feel the sun, the warmth or even the rain, we can’t feel the Divine. We are consumed by the mud that surround us. Do you know anyone like that?
Breath4lifeTM Breath Work changed my life to such a degree that I don’t know who I would have been without it. I highly recommend it. If you would like to know more about Breath Work go here.
Some photos of the amazing people I meat along the way in the circle of Stonehenge.